![]() ![]() As he walks home, he witnesses civilians and law enforcement battle it out while cats fall from the sky. The Postal Dude lives in the off-kilter town of Paradise, Arizona.Įvery day, his wife demands him to complete a number of errands, in which he must put up with being flipped the bird, mugged, attacked by protesters, put upon by an obnoxious convenience store owner/terrorist along with his patrons who cut before him in the "money-line", plus a Marching Band, a murderous toy mascot named Krotchy, the police and SWAT, the ATF and the National Guard, a religious cult, savage butchers, psycho Taliban terrorists, and Gary Coleman himself.Īfter carrying out these tasks which almost get the Postal Dude wound up in jail or killed, Paradise erupts into complete carnage (allegedly) due to his actions over the week. "Don't buy postal 3, its stinky poo poo piss aids."Īfter that, i had to clean all the poopoo off my gaming chair my mommny was very mad at me.Players take on the role of the Postal Dude, a tall thin man with a goatee, sunglasses, a long black trench coat, and an alien t-shirt. "See you in hell, Pinko" said postal dude before he walked off. Only then ddi i notice the postal dude I was playing was the one from postal 3! He den took off his hood revealing him to be teh guy from POSTAL 2! He den took out a shotgun his eyes dripping HYPER REALISTIC BLOOD and he SHOT HISMELFG.ĭa pomstel dudem layd ded on the floor and da grim repper threw his lifeless body into the grave with champs.ĭa grimm repepr den re-sealed the coffin, buried it and took a FAT PISS all over it!!! Suddemnly da spostal dude fell 2 his knees and stared KRYING. Postal dudem opened the coffin showing CHAMPS DED BOPDDEY!!! The scene showed a coffin a blood stain on the lid. I agreed and the postal dude dug up the grave. "Are you sure you want to see him aagin?" ![]() I explore for a bit, no NPCs or anything.Ĭurious i explore da gravemyard till i find a grave for "Champ" da postal dudes dogg. I arrive otuside a church the screen in black and white. Shidding myselfph with fear i run to the right to escape him HATREED dude running clsoe behind me!!!ĪFTER an HOURS AND A HALF of rumming i finale reach a cave that allowed me to exit da levelm. "I AM GOING TO ♥♥♥♥ YOUR ASS YOU ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ PINKO BASTARD!!!!!" Out of NOWHERE the antagonist from HATRED starts chasing me!!!!! Suddemnly the words "RUN" appeared at da top. The sky black, only hellfire in the background postal dude lookming justa s comfused as I was. I pres sapce to reload the gaem getting da saem loedingm screen as before.īut this time my game loads into a hellish space. Terrified I turn and run to the frotn door only to find it locked.Ĭornered' I try to out manuver the reaper by qicking him and b-hopping but he was 2 fast 4 me!!! He themn started walking towards me phasing through the walls. Scareds ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ i dun crappered my pants, shidding and farding violently all ocer my $69,000 pewdiepie gaming chair. I try to get a weapon out by pressing de mumber keys only to notice something was off all weapons were missing, i hadent picked up ANY. Upon entering the store, I see nbodoy the shelves empty except the milk.Ĭonfused by the chances i progress, curious, So i b-hop backwards to da lucky gamesh entering the sore i get da saemn lodding dscreen, weirdly enoyugh i see ZERO npcs on the way there a bit freaky but ok. I spawned outside my trailer the full screen in black and white.Ĭonfused I take a moment to process before continuing Then a few secomns layter the game loded. Not sure what it was i enabled it and started a new game on average, a week in paradise mode, no enhancements.Īs the game loaded i got dis as da loamding screen: I found a setting called "true mode" its description only saying "the true ending". I search for a whiole eventually finding something i did not recognise. Having nothing bemmeter top do i piss around in da settingz to find anythimng i had misseds. I had just beaten Paradise lost on POSTAL doifficulmt in under 69 minutes and unlocked all the achivements. I sat there playing Postal 2 on my PC around august last year.
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